That’s when I started to formulate the plan, first thing… get her to sit down with me. That hurdle ended up being a lot easier than I had anticipated.So as we were sitting at a table talking about all sorts of common stuff I noticed she was really fidgety, not uncomfortable fidgety but, more like constantly crossing and uncrossing her legs, I could hear her sandals making a sliding noise on the tile floor. In the back of my mind I knew I had to figure out a way to use this to my advantage. So after 15 or 20 minutes I decided to just call her out about the noise of her sandals slipping and sliding on the tile floor. She laughed and said she was sorry, it’s been a habit of hers and her friends make fun of her for doing it all the time. She then she gave me a gift I thought was too good to be true… she said and I will never forget, “it’s even worse when I wear my flats, I always seem to need to take them off”. Again I went straight at her and said something stupid like I would like to. I just couldn't have ever really enjoyed myself down here in the caverns ever again knowing exactly how many people DD had murdered to fulfill his dream ambition. Things had been so weird recently that I was beginning to think that I was living in a Carl Hiaasen novel.With the last mystery of the Secret Garden now unveiled, it was time for one serious ass pow-wow to decide now exactly what we were going to do with it all. Garry and I assembled all of the women and we held a meeting downstairs in Thrór's throne room that afternoon. We scavenged up some chairs and stacked them around the money pit and I planted my ass right onto DD's carved stone throne. It just seemed appropriate."Ok, order of business number one. First and foremost in the absence of any other lawful successors or claimants to the throne, I hereby declare myself to be Lord Kurt, King Under the Mountain. Hear my words and tremble!"My lovers and friends, I'm sad to say, just all gave the finger and a loud wet raspberry.
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